SadSeptemberSongs: September 14, 2010

I've never felt like I fit in. Never since I was able to think as an independent person have I felt "normal" and I'm sure this is quite Universal - and ironically quite "normal" a feeling in most people (especially the sensitive ones)

When I first moved to Montreal, the city came down on me. I was never faced with so many people at once, never faced with so much of a glance at what my place was in the world...just a tiny spec of nothingness in a sea of tiny specs.

It swallowed me I think - and I rebelled against it. And it was a love/hate relationship.

When I lived on Lincoln next to Concordia, I ended up with two really cool roomies that were an absolute dream to experience life with. The life I wanted to create was romantic, and whimsical, and melancholy, and full of adventures, conversations, passion, and constant growth. I always strive to create this for myself.

One day as I was cleaning, I found a mixed tape that I assumed came from one of my roommates that was labeled on both sides, side A said: Side Sad, and side B said: Side Marginally Sadder. It was never discovered who that tape originally belonged to. When I put that tape in, I had no track list and so I spent months and months trying to find out who the artists were that I loved the most (ya, the internet wasn't readily available back then).

I remember now that I found out there was some Nick Drake, some Foo Fighters, and my all time favourite on Side Marginally Sadder was a band called Mojave 3 playing a song called "Prayer for the Paranoid".

This song was so perfect for my state of mind at the time. It captures a city swallowing two people, changing them, discouraging them, making them feel "abnormal", alone, ill-fitted.
At least that's what I got from it. I think that tape was meant for me, and I was meant for it.
I lost it a long time ago, but I still think of it. We had a real relationship and it opened me up to a grey area of sad that I didn't know existed before.

So, here's Mojave 3 with Prayer For The Paranoid. And over the next few days I will post some more songs that I remember from "Side Sad and Side Marginally Sadder".
xo